What have you done today with your Austin Seven

[Duncan Grimmond]

Yes those darned tractor boys charging through our village hooting loud and illegal horns as they pass feet away from our window! If I had my way I'd ban them, the inconsiderate environmental murderers that they are, pouring nitrates into the almost dead river at the foot of our garden and destroying the subsoil with their monstrously overweight machines, grubbing out hedges and ruining the wildlife habitat, propagating their monoculture of tasteless food, generating methane with their intensive husbandry methods and feeding stock on antibiotics to increase weight gain, using enough nicotinoid sprays to wipe out the bee population, complaining about their reduced income, well I've never seen a farmer on a bicycle!
You'll have guessed that I could go on...