Joined: Aug 2017 Posts: 741 Threads: 8
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Location: N W Kent
03-12-2021, 12:32 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-12-2021, 01:20 PM by Stuart Giles.
Edit Reason: typo
)
A man was driving along a country lane when he came across a young lady who had come to an involuntary halt in her Austin Ruby. Having some tools in his car, he offered to see if he could fix it. Sitting in the driver's seat and him with the bonnet up but with the side not folded down, she couldn't really see what he was doing but could hear various noises as he was in there. After 10 minutes or so, he stood up asked her to try the starter; sure enough the motor burst into life. She asked "what needed fixing" he replied, "crap in the carburettor" she replied "how often will I need to do that"
Joined: Aug 2017 Posts: 165 Threads: 29
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A drunk is taggering home, and comes across an Austin Seven parked by the side of the road, the bonnet is open, and the driver has a very glum look on his face. " Wash t trouble?" asks the drunk. "Piston broke" is the terse reply. "So'm I" replies the drunk with a grin.
Joined: Apr 2018 Posts: 505 Threads: 129
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Location: Staffordshire
Car type: Ruby mk 2
A mechanic was rebuilding his Austin 7 engine when he recognised a high profile surgeon
He asked the surgeon why he was paid so little compared to the surgeons salary because after the
Mechanic had finished the Austin would be as good as new.
The surgeon walked over and said TRY DOING IT WHILE ITS RUNNING!!
Joined: Aug 2017 Posts: 885 Threads: 70
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Location: Essex
03-12-2021, 05:01 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-12-2021, 05:02 PM by Nick Lettington.)
Q. What do you do if a bird poos on the bonnet of your Austin 7
A. Don't take her out again!
Disclaimer: I do not normally describe women as birds and would not normally condone such behaviour. Unfortunately in the context of this joke, a more PC word doesn't make it remotely funny. If I have caused offence, please accept my apologies.
Also... sorry if this upsets any pedantic friends.
Joined: Aug 2017 Posts: 264 Threads: 17
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Location: Deepest Norfolk
An A7 broke down one night and the driver got out his tools and dived under the bonnet.
A Rolls-Royce - on his way home from an earlier joke - pulled up alongside him. The driver wound down his window and asked, "Can I help?"
"Do you know anything about Austin Sevens?"
"Afraid not, old boy. I'm a Harley Street chiropodist."
"Well, could you give me a toe?"
Rick
In deepest Norfolk
Joined: Aug 2017 Posts: 885 Threads: 70
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Location: Essex
An elderly sevener was very happy to find his wife Pearl had arranged a skydiving experience for their Ruby wedding anniversary. It wasn't until he was plummeting to earth with the ripcord of the main parachute in one hand and the ripcord of the reserve 'chute in the other (neither of which had deployed) that he realised just how chummy the old girl was with the instructor.
By some strange stroke of chance he spotted an old friend coming up towards him at speed... "I say old bean... you don't happen to know anything about parachutes? " he cried.
"No" his friend replied as they passed in mid air... "and I don't suppose you know anything about welding petrol tanks?"
Joined: Aug 2017 Posts: 49 Threads: 4
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A travelling salesman was driving on a country lane in his Austin Seven when the car sputtered to a halt. As he gazed into the engine he heard a voice say "it's the carburettor". Looking around he could see nobody except for a horse.
Turning back to the car and scratching his head he heard the voice say loudly "it's the carburettor". There was still nobody in sight apart from the horse.
In frustration he checked the carby and found that the petrol tap was not fully "on". Turning on the tap the car started immediately so he called in to the next pub to report this miracle of the talking horse.
"What colour was the horse?" asked the barman.
"Black" came the reply.
"Well you were lucky it wasn't the white horse, he only knows about transmissions".
I
Joined: Aug 2017 Posts: 903 Threads: 107
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Location: Melton Mowbray.
Over coffees one morning, three ladies were discussing the merits and prowess of their husbands compared to the cars they owned. The first likened her to their Rolls Royce. " comfortable, smooth and silent. " The second likened hers to their sports Jaguar. " eager. fast, thrusting and very noisy. " The third, rather dowdy looking lady, sheepishly looked at the other two. " well " she replied " mine is like our Austin Seven - small and often needs starting by hand "
Joined: Jan 2019 Posts: 1,481 Threads: 17
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Location: Bala North Wales
Car type: 1933 RP Standard Saloon
Ha Ha! Visual jokes are often the best.
