More saucy Austin Seven

[Tony Griffiths]

No need to rearrange the seats in a Roller...

[Tony Press]

A Rolls Canardly - rolls downhill but canardly climb them 

[Bob Culver]

With legs that long certainly limited scope in a Seven.
In those days few were flatting and, along with other factors many first meetings would not have progressed to a simple kiss, let alone beyond.

[Chris Garner]

COUNSEL TO MAIDENS

Oh Damsel fair, beware the car
Where seating space is wider far
Than any man of reason needs
Except to further his misdeeds;
The steering column change eschew,
No good can come of it for you,
And likewise any motor shun
From which you can't bale out and run.

Let maiden modesty decide
To take a summer evening ride
In something of the vintage breed,
For virtue's friend was ever speed.
No vulpine sibilance can come
From guileless lips of vintage chum,
With passion he is never dizzy,
( His motor keeps him far too busy )
And vintage bucket seats preclude
The acrobatic interlude.

Nor can he sit you in the back,
For there if Jerrycan, a jack,
An inner tube, some oily rags, A pair of mouldy flannel bags,
A grease gun, several tattered maps,
Dead bottles left by other chaps,
A tow rope and a grimy glove
Leave not a lot of room for love.

Don Juan hands it to his betters
To flirt with triple carburettors
And modern Casanovas thrive
On ultrahydromatic drive,
But vintage bod of stark appearance
Gives his poppets ample clearance,
He keeps his honour engine-bright,
Is never loose and seldom tight.

And should the half-elliptic ride
Bring bruise to tender underside,
Those precious nylons go to hell
Among the spanners in the well,
And gearbox cast a blob or two
On tiny white and cherished shoe,
These are but little things to pay
For being out of Danger's way,
The while you blind to Kingdom Come
And back again, intact, to Mum.

The trouble is, the vintage brew
At length may prove too strong for you,
And if with him you ride a lot,
You'll end by marrying the clot.

So, all in all, it seems to us
You're safer riding on a bus.


W.H.Charnock. 1952.

["Slack Alice" Simon]

Very good, Chris.

Thank you, a nice start to a sunny day.

Simon

---

And, of course, thanks to Tony for keeping us amused in these strange times.

[Ian McGowan]

Thanks for that Chris, it is new to me and amused me no end! I liked it so much that I have pinched it too!

[Bob Culver]

For all that, the closeness of Seven front seats makes for greater intimacy than the vast consoles in moderns. I can recall in the 60s often following current cars where two occupied little more than the drivers seat. I suppose now when it is more or less normal to stay the night, the experience would be less enthralling.

[Steve kay]

Close front seat, with a transmission tunnel, long handbrake lever and wiggly gear stick? Now the front arrangements in a 2CV are a  very different matter.

[Bruce Nicholls]

Renault 4?, or a 5TL may even have reclining seats! Funny they'r all French.

[Mike Costigan]

What about the Italians? mid-fifties Fiat 1100 and Lancia Appia with either a bench seat or close-fitting individual seats, column change and umbrella handbrake anyone?